Frequently Asked Questions:

Will the release date be June 2006?


Will the book have 204 pages?


What's the format?

The book will be released in hardcover.

How many copies do you recommend purchasing?

Seven, in case you lose six. The absolute minimum you should purchase is 2 so you can wear one around your neck as a fashionable safe-keep. People will know you're all business when they see you donning 204 pages of the most testicularly endowed literature to rock the publishing universe. In fact, I wear one around everywhere I go:

Here is a picture of me pointing to the book on my chest to avert any confusion over the purpose of this photograph. I wore my book to a friend's wedding the other day and everyone commented on how hearty my pecs looked. There wasn't a dry panty in the room.

How did this all start?

My editor contacted me 4 years ago after reading my site, The Best Page in the Universe, and the conversation went something like this:

Him: Want to write a book?
Me: yeah

Then I wrote it.

Is this safe for expecting mothers?

I'd be lying if I said that this book didn't pose a significant threat to unborn children.

How much will it cost?

The book will cost $15.95, but it's currently available for pre-order on for $10.37, which is the closest thing I've ever seen to sanctioned robbery. Hardcover books usually go for $30, which basically means I won't make anything at that price, and my loss gets passed onto you assholes.

If Hercules were alive today, would you be confident that you'd have thicker pubes than him?


Who's the publisher?

Kensington Books.

Will your book be available in my country?

Only if your country has a clue. From my understanding, Kensington will export to just about any country as long as it's not lame, so if your book store doesn't have it locally, and for whatever reason you're too much of a douche to order it online, then ask your local book store to get it in stock and they will.

Do you have any banners I can use to link to the site?

You'd better believe it:

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© 2006 by Maddox